i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
