I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
