I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
