I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
