he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
