I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
