dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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