how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
