Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
