i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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