Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
