No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
