Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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