Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
smell my finger.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
