I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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