so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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