i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
