i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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