I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
