my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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