Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
