i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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