I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
