hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
