1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
