Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
