I love black thongs
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
