Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
