Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
