i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
True strength comes from lack of pants
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
