shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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