Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
