I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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