Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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