the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
