Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
