I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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