you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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