I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
