Whod you bang
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
