Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
