Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
