i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
