3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
