onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
