roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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