Acid is not a monday night drug
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
