I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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