plz talk dirty to me
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
