I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
